Almost ten years ago, I called my son and found he wasn't home. He had been shipped off to the first wave of Operation Iraqi Freedom with one day's notice and hadn't been able to reach me. I was sick. And as the days, weeks and four long months dragged on and I didn't hear from him, I was sicker. He joined the Marine Corp reserves, as so many did, right after 9/11. So I was prepared for the eventuality of deployment, but I wasn't prepared for this.
It was at that time that I discovered the power of mothers, and the determination. I called his commander, and wouldn't rest until I got an answer to my questions. Where was he, and were they all right? And I was far from alone. One mother wouldn't not stop until they actually found her son in the field and put him through to speak to her. He told her it was dangerous to do so, and exacted a promise never to do it again. She didn't, but she never ceased worrying.
It was also at this time that I discovered how unprepared, and how underequipped they were. Mothers (as well as spouses, relatives and friends) were sending armor plating, flak jackets, upgraded helmets, food, and even bottled drinking water. My son later told me both food and water were rationed deplorably in 130 degree heat.
One of the hardest aspects was that the war was becoming a partisan issue, and there were many who simply didn't want to believe that the troops weren't properly outfitted for more than a quick enduring victory. As the time went on, it became more apparent. And mothers became more aggressive in speaking out, and holding their elected officials responsible for taking care of our fighting men and women.
Since then, my second son, who is a career Marine, has been deployed to Iraq and Afghanistan four times. Soldiers in the Army and National Guard have had it much worse, their deployment time was increased to 15 months, with barely time in between to rest and recuperate and see to the business of the lives they left behind. Their children have grown up without them.
In my own case, I was present to take care of my daughter-in-law when their son was born because his father was deployed. I have spent extended visits as she worried during one of the worst deployments, and the most recent, as she raised a toddler alone in a new place where she knew no one.
And we were lucky. I am a Blue Star mother. My children have returned unharmed. And they have returned. There are many mothers who have suffered the ultimate anguish.
This is what has driven me to create this site; that, and the experiences of my two compatriots, Pat and Maura who shared my fears when their sons were deployed. And the experiences of all those mothers, Blue Star, Silver Star, and Gold Star, who need a place to talk and to get affirmation that their's is a difficult position, and they are not alone.
I'd like to hear your story. Please share it with me, and with others who come here looking for kindred spirits and fellowship. Being the mother of a person in the service of their country is doubly hard. There are no base groups that we belong to. We don't know any of the mothers whose children share our own children's danger. This is an opportunity to form a group where information can be exchanged, and where support can be found.
